The best science jokes

Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?" Little Johnny replies, "HIJKLMNO"! The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?" Little Johnny replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"
Vote: has 79.25 % from 391 votes. Send joke:

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Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
Vote: has 79.24 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, life, music, science
It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Lowenstein, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States. He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," said Dr. Lowenstein, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars." He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, "But that’s impossible... we could never do it. Yes Mr. President,” and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. "I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we’ve found intelligent life on Mars... he wants us to try to find it in Congress."
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, phone, political, science
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
Vote: has 78.47 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

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A neutron walks into a bar. "Id like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."
Vote: has 78.15 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, science
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas." The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."
Vote: has 77.88 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, computer, IT, science
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Vote: has 77.47 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, geek, science
"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."
Vote: has 76.21 % from 96 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, beer, science, women