The best science jokes

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Vote: has 79.19 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, geek, science
Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?" Little Johnny replies, "HIJKLMNO"! The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?" Little Johnny replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"
Vote: has 78.98 % from 417 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, science, teacher
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story. "Once upon a time there was a white bunny..." "Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?" "Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said. "Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...." "Dad, a little more grown up!" "Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown. " I swear!" "Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
Vote: has 78.92 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, life, science
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas." The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."
Vote: has 78.90 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, computer, IT, science
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
Vote: has 78.55 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, geek, medical, memory, science
"Shay, buddy, whats a Breathalyzer?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. "Well, Id have to say that its a bag that tells you when youve drunk way too much," answered the equally wasted gent. "Ah hell, whaddya know? Ive been married to one of those for years!"
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, science, wife
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Vote: has 78.31 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of heaven, St. Peter wouldn’t let him in until he proved his identity. Einstein scribbled out a couple of his equations, and was admitted into paradise. And when Picasso died, St. Peter asked, “How do I know you’re Picasso?” Picasso sketched out a couple of his masterpieces. St. Peter was convinced and let him in. When George W. Bush died, he went to heaven and met the man at the gates. “How can you prove to me you’re George W. Bush?” Saint Peter said. Bush replied, “Well heck, I don’t know.” St. Peter says, “Well, Albert Einstein showed me his equations and Picasso drew his famous pictures. What can you do to prove you’re George W. Bush?” Bush replies, “Who are Albert Einstein and Picasso?” St. Peter says, “It must be you, George, c’mon on in.”
Vote: has 77.76 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, heaven, life, political, science
Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 77.76 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
Vote: has 77.17 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science