The best science jokes

Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
Vote: has 77.41 % from 75 votes. Send joke:
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Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, science
Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
Vote: has 76.26 % from 66 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
Vote: has 76.19 % from 81 votes. Send joke:
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"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."
Vote: has 76.05 % from 110 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, beer, science, women
A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers. She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop." The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone. The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.
Vote: has 75.95 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, science, student
Yo mama's so fat, she's the reason why the universe is expanding.
Vote: has 75.92 % from 85 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, insulting, science, Yo mama
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Vote: has 75.89 % from 114 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, Chuck Norris, science
Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket. The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out." The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants." While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires. They both scream, "What are you doing?" To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."
Vote: has 75.51 % from 168 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, school, science
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
Vote: has 74.78 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geek, life, math, science


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