The best science jokes

"Shay, buddy, whats a Breathalyzer?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. "Well, Id have to say that its a bag that tells you when youve drunk way too much," answered the equally wasted gent. "Ah hell, whaddya know? Ive been married to one of those for years!"
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, science, wife
When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of heaven, St. Peter wouldn’t let him in until he proved his identity. Einstein scribbled out a couple of his equations, and was admitted into paradise. And when Picasso died, St. Peter asked, “How do I know you’re Picasso?” Picasso sketched out a couple of his masterpieces. St. Peter was convinced and let him in. When George W. Bush died, he went to heaven and met the man at the gates. “How can you prove to me you’re George W. Bush?” Saint Peter said. Bush replied, “Well heck, I don’t know.” St. Peter says, “Well, Albert Einstein showed me his equations and Picasso drew his famous pictures. What can you do to prove you’re George W. Bush?” Bush replies, “Who are Albert Einstein and Picasso?” St. Peter says, “It must be you, George, c’mon on in.”
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has 73.45 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, heaven, life, political, science
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
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has 73.37 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
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has 73.01 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: geek, life, math, science
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
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has 72.55 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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has 72.45 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
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has 72.43 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, science, winter
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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has 72.31 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, Chuck Norris, science
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”
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has 72.18 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: school, science
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