Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?" After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician." The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?" "Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
Did you hear about the new book about anti-gravity? I just can't seem to put it down.
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? A: Classical conditioning.
Yo mama's so fat, she's the reason why the universe is expanding.
"Shay, buddy, whats a Breathalyzer?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. "Well, Id have to say that its a bag that tells you when youve drunk way too much," answered the equally wasted gent. "Ah hell, whaddya know? Ive been married to one of those for years!"