The best science jokes

A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
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has 73.98 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: math, science, time, women
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
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has 73.79 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Yo mama's so fat, she's the reason why the universe is expanding.
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has 73.73 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, science, Yo mama
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?" After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician." The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?" "Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
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has 73.60 % from 326 votes. More jokes about: math, science
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
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has 73.41 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, science, winter
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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has 73.41 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, Chuck Norris, science
Q: How do you make holy water? A: You boil the hell out of it.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: communication, religious, science
Did you hear about the new book about anti-gravity? I just can't seem to put it down.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, science
A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers. She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop." The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone. The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.
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has 72.58 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: blonde, science, student
Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
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has 72.48 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
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