The best science jokes

Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
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has 73.79 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
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has 73.64 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, science, winter
Yo mama's so fat, she's the reason why the universe is expanding.
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has 73.53 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, science, Yo mama
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?" After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician." The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?" "Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
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has 73.29 % from 322 votes. More jokes about: math, science
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
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has 73.01 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
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has 72.76 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
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has 72.63 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: math, science, time, women
Did you hear about the new book about anti-gravity? I just can't seem to put it down.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, science
A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers. She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop." The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone. The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.
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has 72.58 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: blonde, science, student
Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? A: Classical conditioning.
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: geek, nerd, science
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