Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Chuck Norris can split the atom.
With his bare hands.
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Yo mama's so fat, she's the reason why the universe is expanding.
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon.
After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions.
They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?"
After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon."
The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician."
The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?"
"Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
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Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
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Did you hear about the new book about anti-gravity?
I just can't seem to put it down.
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A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers.
She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop."
The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone.
The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.
Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
A: Classical conditioning.
Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
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