The best sex jokes

I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
Vote:
has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, life, sex
What are the small bumps around women’s nipples? It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
Vote:
has 70.00 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: sex
What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
Vote:
has 69.98 % from 224 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's Day.
Vote:
has 69.94 % from 537 votes. More jokes about: black people, Fathers day, kids, sex
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Vote:
has 69.93 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Little Johnny's dad was constantly bragging about him to everyone. He was always telling everyone he met how his little Johnny did this, little Johnny did that, and little Johnny was the best kid ever. One day little Johnny's dad was outside leaning on the fence talking to his next door neighbor. As usual it was "little Johnny did this, little Johnny did that, little Johnny's the best kid ever." Just then the school bus pulled up and little Johnny himself got off the bus. His dad was elated. He turned back to the neighbor and said, "There's my little Johnny now! Isn't he the best kid ever? I'll ask him how his day went." So when little Johnny walked by on his way into the house his dad said;  "So little Johnny, how was school today?" "Oh school was great today dad! I had SEX in school today!" Then little Johnny went on into the house. His dad turned to his neighbor and said ever so proudly, "That's my little Johnny, he had SEX in school today! What a kid!" Next day little Johnny's dad was back at the fence again talking to the next door neighbor as the bus pulled up again. As little Johnny was getting off the bus, his dad turned to the neighbor and said "There's my little Johnny, what a boy! Watch this, I'll ask him if he had SEX in school again today!" As little Johnny walked by on his way into the house his dad called out to him "Hey little Johnny, did you have SEX in school again today?" "Oh no dad, my butt's still sore from yesterday!"
Vote:
has 69.92 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny, school, sex
Why do women need guys? Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
Vote:
has 69.91 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: sex
A guy walks into a bar with a four-foot crocodile on a leash, following him like a dog. The barman says gruffly: "No pets allowed here!" The guy says, "But this is a trained crocodile. See what it can do!" He sets the crocodile on a table and hits it on both ears. The crocodile opens its jaws wide. The guy unzips his pants, puts his pecker into the crocodile's jaws and hits the crocodile on the ears again. The crocodile closes its jaws leaving just one-inch space, not touching the man's pecker. Everybody in the bar is very impressed. To build upon it, the guy declares: "I give a hundred dollars to anyone who does it!" But everybody is afraid to - understandably, each would rather have an undamaged pecker than a hundred dollars. Finally, a man wearing a pink suit, with an earring in one ear, says in an effeminate voice: "I think I can do it!" Everybody admires him, "What a brave man you are!" The man continues, to the guy: "Just don't hit me so hard on the ears!"
Vote:
has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dirty, money, sex
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
Vote:
has 69.85 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: sex
Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
Vote:
has 69.82 % from 266 votes. More jokes about: sex
<<<32333435
More jokes →
Page 32 of 88.