The best sex jokes

Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".
Vote: has 69.79 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, sex
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
Vote: has 69.73 % from 142 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
What is the smallest hotel in the world? A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
Vote: has 69.73 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
Vote: has 69.73 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, school, sex
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
Vote: has 69.66 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
Vote: has 69.64 % from 207 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
Vote: has 69.57 % from 174 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, gay, sex
Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back." Jonny: "That's what she said." Miss: "Get out!" Jonny "She said that too."
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, school, sex
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Vote: has 69.46 % from 126 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: medical, men, money, sex, women
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
Vote: has 69.44 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex