The best sex jokes

Q: What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say when clients are leaving? A: “Thanks for coming!”
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has 70.38 % from 595 votes. More jokes about: sex
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
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has 70.33 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: dirty, funeral, insulting, sex, wife
What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
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has 70.33 % from 212 votes. More jokes about: sex
I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom. I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming – I’d looked up and thought I was being attacked by a naked skydiver.
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has 70.21 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: sex
Sex isn’t the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
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has 70.15 % from 229 votes. More jokes about: sex
Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
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has 69.92 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, gay, sex
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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has 69.92 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
Why are black peoples eyes red after sex? Pepper spray.
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has 69.36 % from 492 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, sex
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
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has 69.32 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver's ear. She said, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!" The driver didn't think much of her complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. Later, that same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!" This time, he figured he'd better look into it. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to find out if they knew what was going on. He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor beneath the seats and stooped down to question him. "Excuse me sir, could I help you?" The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it..." The man continued, "I thought I'd located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine is parted on the side!"
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people, sex, travel
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