The best sex jokes

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
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has 71.23 % from 477 votes. More jokes about: sex
As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."
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has 71.17 % from 498 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, sex
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
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has 71.08 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
A married couple was walking down the street when an alien spacecraft landed in front of them. A married alien couple walked out and said, "Hello, earthlings, we come in peace. We are scientists from the planet GRUDO-X and we want you to tell us all about your planet." So they talked for hours, until they came to the subject of sex. The humans told the aliens how humans have sex and the aliens were in shock! It was very similar to the way the aliens did it. The men in the group decided to have a little experiment with switching wives for a night. When the human woman saw the alien man undress, she immediately laughed at his "thing." The alien looked down and said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot." And he hit his head twice and "it" grew at least two feet. The woman said "Wow! That's impressive, but I could snap that thing if I wanted to." So the alien pulled his ears twice and it expanded. The two had the greatest sex of their lives. The next morning the human man came for his wife and asked, "How was it?" The wife replied, "Great!" The man said, "Well, for some strange reason thealien woman kept jumping on me, pulling my ears and hitting me on the head, screaming, "It's broken! It's broken!"
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has 71.04 % from 598 votes. More jokes about: marriage, science, sex
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
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has 71.01 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: sex
Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m.
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has 70.94 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: sex
A husband and wife decide they need to spice up their sex life. The wife buys a pair of crotchless underwear, puts them on, and goes into the bedroom. She seductively asks her husband, "Hey Big Boy, do ya want some of this?" The husband takes one look at her underwear and replies, "Hell no! Look what that thing does to underwear!"
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has 70.93 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: sex
Dad, what happens if a condom tear? Look at yourself...
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has 70.85 % from 434 votes. More jokes about: sex
I went to a pharmacy and asked for a black condom. Manager wondered and asked me, "why black sir?" "My friend's husband died; I want to console her," I said.
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has 70.75 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, mean, relationship, sex
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
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has 70.59 % from 240 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
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