The best sex jokes

A husband and wife decide they need to spice up their sex life. The wife buys a pair of crotchless underwear, puts them on, and goes into the bedroom. She seductively asks her husband, "Hey Big Boy, do ya want some of this?" The husband takes one look at her underwear and replies, "Hell no! Look what that thing does to underwear!"
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has 70.93 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: sex
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
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has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: food, science, sex, wedding, women
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised? A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
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has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde, men, sex, stupid, women
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
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has 70.89 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
Dad, what happens if a condom tear? Look at yourself...
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has 70.85 % from 434 votes. More jokes about: sex
What is the smallest hotel in the world? A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
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has 70.59 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
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has 70.52 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: medical, men, money, sex, women
A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"
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has 70.52 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face? A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
Q: What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say when clients are leaving? A: “Thanks for coming!”
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has 70.42 % from 603 votes. More jokes about: sex
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