Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver's ear.
She said, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!"
The driver didn't think much of her complaint, but promised he would check into it soon.
Later, that same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!"
This time, he figured he'd better look into it.
A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to find out if they knew what was going on.
He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor beneath the seats and stooped down to question him.
"Excuse me sir, could I help you?"
The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it..."
The man continued, "I thought I'd located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine is parted on the side!"
Vote:
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
Q: What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say when clients are leaving?
A: “Thanks for coming!”
What are the small bumps around women’s nipples?
It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
Why do women need guys?
Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks.
"I can't believe it, it really is a boy."
That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem?
A: Father's Day.
Vote:
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl.
I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose.
No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.