The best sex jokes

Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m.
Vote: has 70.44 % from 235 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, life, old people, sex, viagra
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
Vote: has 70.34 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
A French monk wrote a manifesto stating that every woman would agree to sell her body for money. The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat. So, you're stating that every women would agree to sell herself? Yes. Me too? Of course. And how much do you think I would cost? 500 francs. What?! Only 500 francs?! Here you go - you've already started to negotiate.
Vote: has 70.28 % from 208 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Why are black peoples eyes red after sex? Pepper spray.
Vote: has 70.19 % from 442 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist, sex
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
Vote: has 70.15 % from 207 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Sex isn’t the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
Vote: has 69.98 % from 224 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea. The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?" She said that she did. He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said no. The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?" The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"
Vote: has 69.93 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, husband, lawyer, sex
A furniture store keeps calling me. But all I wanted was one night stand.
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, sex
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, insulting, lawyer, mean, sex