The best sex jokes

A farm boy who had just finished his schooling on the farm, was sent by his Ma and Pa to the big city to go to college. The first thing the boy does when he gets to town, is go to find a whorehouse. He goes inside to talk to the madam about getting a girl. She leads him upstairs, opens the door to a room and tells him to sit and wait for the girl to arrive. After several minutes of anxious waiting, a young, blonde prostitute comes in. The boy is beside himself, and he leaps up from the bed, grabs the television, and throws it out the window. The girl thinks this is odd behavior, but she shrugs it off, and begins to undress. As she strips, the farmboy runs over, grabs the night stand and throws it out the window. Again the girl thinks this is odd, but being an experienced hooker, she figures it's a fetish and continues disrobing. The girl removes her panties, and with that, the farm boy grabs the entire bed and starts lugging it toward the window. The girl, figuring this is one even she hasn't heard of, finally asks, "What the hell are you doing?" The farm boy replies, "Ah ain't never been with no woman before but, if it's anythin' like fuckin' sheep, we gonna need all the room we can git."
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I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex, work
A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan they were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From the inside they head a Pakistani accent say, "you foreigners come in. Come in my humble shop." so the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great dessert camel" Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being a sex hero he as. The husband, "how could sandals make you into a sex freak?" The Pakistani man replied, why don't you see for yourself?" Well , the husband after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped then onto this feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in years-- raw sexual power. In a blink of an eye the husband rushed of too the Pakistani man threw him on the table and started tearing at the guy's pants. All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, "YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET"
Vote: has 70.82 % from 268 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, marriage, sex, travel, wife
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
Vote: has 70.75 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

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Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
Vote: has 70.69 % from 181 votes. Send joke:

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Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m.
Vote: has 70.68 % from 237 votes. Send joke:

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Dad, what happens if a condom tear? Look at yourself...
Vote: has 70.56 % from 426 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say when clients are leaving? A: “Thanks for coming!”
Vote: has 70.48 % from 590 votes. Send joke:

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Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
Vote: has 70.46 % from 172 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, fat, sex, Yo mama
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dad, sex, time