The best sex jokes

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
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has 71.64 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: sex
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
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has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, sex
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!" Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
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has 71.48 % from 384 votes. More jokes about: sex, sport
What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his his nose. Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken... A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said I've got some "Cream" For that. Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out the underpants. What do you do with a years worth of used condoms? Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear. What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus! A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock. A lady asks "What are you dressed as?" He says a fireman! You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can. One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, doctor, sex
The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.
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has 71.37 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: sex
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Knock-Knock Who is there? A long penis with a naked head. Come in please we were waiting for you.
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has 71.30 % from 563 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
A French monk wrote a manifesto stating that every woman would agree to sell her body for money. The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat. So, you're stating that every women would agree to sell herself? Yes. Me too? Of course. And how much do you think I would cost? 500 francs. What?! Only 500 francs?! Here you go - you've already started to negotiate.
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has 71.29 % from 227 votes. More jokes about: sex
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
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has 71.27 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: medical, men, money, sex, women
A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"
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has 71.27 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
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