Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together?
A: In case you miss.
Advice for office managers: Keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer.
That way, when she goes to get one you'll get a great view of her arse.
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous.
"My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?"
"I'd say you're a lesbian!"
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?"
A: "Spit and swallow."
Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?
A. They're called Dikes.
They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
Rudolph the well hung reindeer,
Had a great enormous cock,
All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock,
All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small,
Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all,
Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong...
Fuck my arsehole all night long!"
Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say,
"Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."