3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome.
So next time someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a compliment!
Vote:
What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant?
Her feet.
Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower.
Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower.
When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall.
He wailed to Tom, "I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!"
Paul looks at the wall and says "What are you talkng about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.
An old couple decide to get married after years of courting.
They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex.
‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée.
‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’
‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom.
‘Was that one word or two?’
Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’
‘Feelling randy?’ asks the other.
‘No,’ says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’
A lady tells her husband, “My gynecologist said I can’t have sex for two weeks.”
He replies, “What did your dentist say?”
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex?
A: Two of his fingers are clean.