Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? A: Because red means Stop.
Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with? Anything for the family.
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss.
Advice for office managers: Keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer. That way, when she goes to get one you'll get a great view of her arse.
Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband: "Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?" I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison" And they throw the first one. and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband: "Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!" The guy not very delighted tells her: "Lets put him into the prison another time!!" And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him: "!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!" The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal. And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says: "!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!" And he answers with his last breath: "HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous. "My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?" "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time.