Woman to doctor: ‘Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.’ Doctor: ‘And what are you taking for it?’ Woman: ‘Pepper.’
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
What did the vagina say to the penis. So do you cum here often.
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Yo mama's so fat that, after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water for his wife. He says, "Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water." She replied, "but honey I do not have a headache!" He replied, "Thank God!"
Q: Why don't Canadians have group sex? A: Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.