The best sex jokes

An old lady goes to her doctor and asks for contraceptive tablets, claiming they help her sleep at night. ‘Why would contraceptive pills make you sleep any better than normal?’ asks the doctor. The old lady replies, ‘Because I put them in my grandaughter’s coffee.’
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The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?" "There," said the wife, "didn’t I tell you he was stupid?"
Vote: has 66.41 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, sex, stupid, women
Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
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Roses are red lemons are sour. Open your legs and give me an hour.
Vote: has 66.34 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? A: Boo-bees.
Vote: has 66.28 % from 496 votes. Send joke:

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"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
Vote: has 66.27 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, birthday, dad, kids, sex
Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Vote: has 66.22 % from 259 votes. Send joke:

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Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office. But she belonged to someone else... One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a Ł100 if you let me have sex with you." But the girl said, "NO." Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up." She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for Ł200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down." So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened. She responded, "The bastard used coins!"
Vote: has 66.18 % from 172 votes. Send joke:

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When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.
Vote: has 66.17 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

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Roses are red violets are blue. My dick has glue I offer it to you.
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, flirt, poems, sex