Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex?
A: Two of his fingers are clean.
I went to a pharmacy and asked for a black condom.
Manager wondered and asked me, "why black sir?"
"My friend's husband died; I want to console her," I said.
Programming is like sex
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Vote:
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms.
"Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks.
"No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
Husband: "When I die, I'd like to die making love."
Wife: "At least we know it'll be quick!"
So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms.
I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag?
I said No, she's not that ugly.
Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207.
Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle."
Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible."
Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's condom!"
Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?
A. They're called Dikes.
They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’?
About three inches.