The best sex jokes

What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her feet.
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has 67.06 % from 210 votes. More jokes about: sex
"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I can't believe it, it really is a boy." That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
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has 66.96 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: gay, geography, men, sex, women
Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!" "Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President. "I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms as soon as possible to tide us over?" "Why certainly! I'll get right on it,"said Bush. "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin. "Yes?" "Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Putin. "No problem," replied the President. Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those stupid Americans will fall for anything. George hung up and called the President of a condom company. "I need a favor, you've got to send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia." "Consider it done," said the president of the condom company. "Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide." "Easily done. Anything else?" "Yeah," said the President, "print 'Made in America, size small' on each one!"
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has 66.95 % from 404 votes. More jokes about: political, sex
What did the elephant say to the nude man? ‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
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has 66.90 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: sex
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt! So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
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has 66.81 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: sex
The wife is back on the warpath again. I suggested that we make a little sex tape ... she was up for it ... until I suggested holding auditions. I just don’t understand why she is so mad!
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has 66.78 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: sex
Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex. "I think my privates are too small." he says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. "Well, Lager," he replies, quite bemused. "Ah. There's your problem. It shrinks things, those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow." Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. "I take it you now drink Guinness?" asked the doc. "No", replies the man "but I've got the wife on Lager!"
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: beer, doctor, sex, time, wife
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.  In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
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has 66.62 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, time
I was married to a Gemini she caught me cheating on her with herself.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
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has 66.56 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
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