Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ. ‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
Woman to doctor: ‘Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.’ Doctor: ‘And what are you taking for it?’ Woman: ‘Pepper.’
What did the vagina say to the penis. So do you cum here often.