The best sex jokes

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
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has 64.09 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: IT, sex
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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has 64.09 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, relationship, sex
A man and woman were celebrating their 50 year anniversary. That night, the woman comes out of the bathroom completely naked and looks at her husband who is already in bed. She says, "Honey, 50 years ago tonight, when I came out of the bathroom with no clothes on, what were you thinking?" He said, "I was thinking that I wanted to suck your titties dry and fuck you until you couldn’t think straight." She smiled at him and said, "So what are you thinking now?" He said, "I think I did a pretty good job!"
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, husband, marriage, sex, time
John comes home and notices his wife naked in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed. The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will pee on your brand-new carpet."
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, wife
One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts. Before the show, she asks the audience: "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" and 3 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?" and 1 person, an old man raises his hand. So she goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" and he said "Oh…it was great! Never had any like it before!" and she asked "Really? So the ghost was good?" and the old man said "Ghost? I thought you said goat!"
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has 63.95 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin
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has 63.83 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: car, sex, technology
A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him. ‘Hello,’ he says. ‘Do you speak English?’ ‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman. ‘How much?’ asks the man. The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’
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has 63.81 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What does a good steak have in common with good sex? A: They're both very rare.
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: sex
What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’? About three inches.
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has 63.67 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: sex
Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face Bless his hair that tends to curl Keep him safe from all the girls Bless his arms that are so strong Keep his hands where they belong Bless his dick, the one i sucked Bless the bed, in which we fucked And if my Mom happened to walk in Bless the shit I'd be in.
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has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: poems, sex, vulgar
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