I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Little Johnny, "Why are you so fat?" Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuck ur mom she gives me a doughnut."
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?" The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors." The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure." The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
Q. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? A. Goes-in-tight!
Q. What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick? A. Fucks Funny!
Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.