The best sex jokes

Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
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has 63.42 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, hospital, sex
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies? A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, marriage, political, sex
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, kids, sex
What’s a man’s definition of safe sex? Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.
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has 63.13 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.
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has 63.13 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, sex, stupid
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, god, sex
One day Sven walks into the local pub and announces, "Well boys Svens is getting married." As you can imagine all of Sven's' friends were very happy for Sven's good fortune and they asked, "Who's the lucky girl?" Sven replied, "Well I am a marrying Madge." Well, this upset all of Sven's friends because Madge was nothing but a slut, and they all cried. "Sven you can't marry Madge, she's not a nice girl!" "Sven replied, "Oh ya, Sven's in love and he's a getting married." And his friends persisted, "Sven, Madge is a woman of low morals." Sven just grinned and replied, "Oh ya ya ya, but I love Madge." Finally, his friends had enough and in unison cried out, "But Sven, Madge has been screwed by every man in town!" "Oh ya ya ya," said Sven, "But it's not that big of a town."
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: bar, marriage, sex
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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has 62.85 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
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