The best sex jokes

There are three types of sex in a marriage. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when you are newlyweds, and you're still having fun, so you do it anywhere, anytime - but mostly the kitchen. The second type is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have settled down a bit and probably have kids, so you can't do it anywhere except the bedroom. The third type of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you pass each other in the hall and say, "Screw you." But there's also a fourth kind called Courtroom Sex. This is when you are getting a divorce and you try to screw each other in public.
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has 63.74 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex
One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts. Before the show, she asks the audience: "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" and 3 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?" and 1 person, an old man raises his hand. So she goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" and he said "Oh…it was great! Never had any like it before!" and she asked "Really? So the ghost was good?" and the old man said "Ghost? I thought you said goat!"
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has 63.56 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, sex
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, hospital, sex
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies? A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, marriage, political, sex
What’s a man’s definition of safe sex? Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.
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has 63.13 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.
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has 63.13 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
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has 63.10 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, sex, stupid
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, god, sex
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