My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience. Between five it’s fantastic!’ Woody Allen
‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’ George Burns
An old man goes to his doctor and says, ‘Can you give me something to lower my sex drive.’ The doctor replies, ‘I would have thought at your age it’s all in the mind,’ ‘It is,’ agrees the old man. ‘That’s why I want it lower.’
Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’ Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’ Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, "Nein!, Nein" So two guys walk away.
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!