The best sex jokes

Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks... Husband: And what the dentist said?
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has 53.72 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: sex
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: family, flirt, sex
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fitness, flirt, food, sex
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, health, sex
Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes. They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them." And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
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has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, gay, sex
Two sperm are in the body looking for the egg when one of them starts to wonder why it is taking so long. He asks the other sperm, "aren't we near the uterus yet?" "No," replied the other sperm, "we haven't even gotten to the esophagus."
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has 53.35 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: sex
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
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has 53.22 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: sex
I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special.
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has 53.22 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: sex
My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
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has 52.91 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: sex
So God is getting a bit bored in heaven, and he asks his archangel Michael, "Michael, I need to get away from it all for a bit. Where should I go to clear my head?" Michael replies, "Well, you could always go to Pluto. You could go create a mountain and ski, have a bit of fun." God says, "No, I don't think so. I don't do so well with the cold, and frostbite was definitely not one of my better creations." The archangels says, "Alright, well you could always try Mercury. It's nice and warm, you could just take a bit of time to relax, get a nice tan." "Michael," God says, "do you see how white I am? I would burn to a crisp." Michael replies, "Alright, well then why don't you go to Earth?" "Fuck that," God says, "last time I went there I got some girl pregnant and I never heard the end of it."
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has 52.91 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: geography, god, heaven, kids, sex
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