The best sex jokes

Peter approaches the gates of Heaven. "Knock knock," says Peter. Miraculously, someone answers him. "Who's there," a voice in the distance asked. "God," says Peter. "God who," asked the voice? "GOD DAMMIT open these gates! I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
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has 53.46 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, heaven, knock-knock, sex
Q. How can you tell a head nurse? A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
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has 53.44 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: sex
Two sperm are in the body looking for the egg when one of them starts to wonder why it is taking so long. He asks the other sperm, "aren't we near the uterus yet?" "No," replied the other sperm, "we haven't even gotten to the esophagus."
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has 53.35 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: sex
An old man goes to his doctor and says, ‘Can you give me something to lower my sex drive.’ The doctor replies, ‘I would have thought at your age it’s all in the mind,’ ‘It is,’ agrees the old man. ‘That’s why I want it lower.’
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has 53.31 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why is sex like a game of bridge? You don’t need a partner if you’ve got a good hand.
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has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: sex
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
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has 53.05 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, dog, love, sex
Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
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has 52.83 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: dirty, lesbian, sex, viagra
‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience. Between five it’s fantastic!’ Woody Allen
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has 52.81 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: sex
Which is the most confusing day in America? Father's day! 80% don't know whom to wish. Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
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has 52.77 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, Fathers day, kids, sex
‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’ George Burns
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has 52.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: sex
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