Are you a mum?
I am not a dad!
Maybe you could help me with that!
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?"
"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
This 12 year old boy was in bed when he heard his mother moaning. He
decided that he'd go see whats wrong with her.
When he looked in his
mothers room he saw that she was laying on her bed naked and rubbing
herself and saying"I need a man, I need a man"
So this quite a few times and then one night he heard his mother again,
but this time her moaning sounded different, so he went to go check it
out, this time instead of seeing his mother alone, he sees his mother in
bed with a man. So the boy runs back to his room, strips all his
clothes off, jumps on the bed and starts rubbing himself while saying "I
need a bike, I need a bike"!!!!!
Vote:
Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along.
‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says.
‘What time did you pull out this morning?’
‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy.
‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
Vote:
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex?
A: freak.
Vote:
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows...
You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
Vote:
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.