The best sex jokes

Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
has 51.83 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
has 51.80 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, sex
She’s got her very own method of birth control. She takes her make-up off.
has 51.70 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: sex
A young couple get between the sheets for the first time. In a flash it’s over. The boy says, ‘If I’d known you were a virgin I’d have taken more time.’ His girlfriend replies, ‘If I’d known you were going to take more time I’d have taken off my tights.’
has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: sex
Peter approaches the gates of Heaven. "Knock knock," says Peter. Miraculously, someone answers him. "Who's there," a voice in the distance asked. "God," says Peter. "God who," asked the voice? "GOD DAMMIT open these gates! I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, heaven, knock-knock, sex
Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’ Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’ Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’
has 51.54 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican? A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face!
has 51.45 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: age, catholic, dirty, priest, sex
They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
has 51.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, flirt, sex
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
has 51.08 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
has 50.98 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: sex
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