The best sex jokes

What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
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has 51.37 % from 279 votes. More jokes about: men, sex
A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, "Nein!, Nein" So two guys walk away.
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has 51.28 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, ethnic, sex, stupid
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
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has 50.98 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: sex
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
A Lalu brought a simple, spendthrift wife from a small town in Bihar. He convinced her that they should go for Honeymoon. The wife would not understand complex term as honeymoon and kept asking for explanation. Lalu said, "Let me feel you my manhood in Honeymoon and you would know." They went. Had lots of fun and came back. Wife back at home asked, "I still don’t understand what is this honeymoon that we went for." The Husband said, "Oh, we were together, had so many hugs, kisses, varieties of sex, jokes, fun all that is honeymoon." The spendthrift wife got angry, "You should have told me that before. Back in town, Malu, Kalu, Suru and I were together all the times, and had this fun without spending a dime of my money."
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has 50.96 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage, money, sex, wife
What happened when the chef got his hand caught in the dishwasher? They both got fired.
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has 50.76 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: sex
So God is getting a bit bored in heaven, and he asks his archangel Michael, "Michael, I need to get away from it all for a bit. Where should I go to clear my head?" Michael replies, "Well, you could always go to Pluto. You could go create a mountain and ski, have a bit of fun." God says, "No, I don't think so. I don't do so well with the cold, and frostbite was definitely not one of my better creations." The archangels says, "Alright, well you could always try Mercury. It's nice and warm, you could just take a bit of time to relax, get a nice tan." "Michael," God says, "do you see how white I am? I would burn to a crisp." Michael replies, "Alright, well then why don't you go to Earth?" "Fuck that," God says, "last time I went there I got some girl pregnant and I never heard the end of it."
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has 50.69 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: geography, god, heaven, kids, sex
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
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has 50.69 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex
Is it still rape if you yell 'Surprise!' first?
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, sex
A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs. When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered: "Its name is trouble". When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied: "I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's ass saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, kids, sex, teacher
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