Want to make a porno?
We don't have to tape it.
She’s got her very own method of birth control.
She takes her make-up off.
Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.
Yo mama ass so big your dad's dick gets lost in it.
Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’
Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’
Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’
Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal?
A: Due.
Vote:
"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says.
"What? There's no such thing," she replied.
"No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'"
A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom.
A few minutes later she comes out.
"Wow, that was great!" She says.
She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store.
On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo.
Well she's really enjoying herself.
The car is swerving and she rolls through a red.
She ends up getting pulled over by a cop.
After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story.
She explains about the magic dildo and the shop.
The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex?
Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.