The best sex jokes

Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along. ‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says. ‘What time did you pull out this morning?’ ‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy. ‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’
Vote: has 50.00 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$. He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally. As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!" Sally scoots out of the room. Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again. "What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!" Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, money, sex
Nigel, a college student is talking to a friend. ‘Y’ know,’ he says. ‘I think my room-mate is queer.’ ‘Why d’you say that?’ asks the student. ‘Well,’ replies Nigel. ‘Every time I kiss him goodnight he shuts his eyes.’
Vote: has 49.80 % from 76 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Vote: has 49.79 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, fitness, flirt, food, sex
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Vote: has 49.76 % from 56 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
Vote: has 49.65 % from 91 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony? A: The blond girl told him to come outside
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, sex, time
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
Vote: has 49.55 % from 69 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
Vote: has 49.54 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 239 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, sex


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