The best sex jokes

Why is sex like a game of bridge? You don’t need a partner if you’ve got a good hand.
has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: sex
My girlfriend likes to pretend to be a 14 year old when we have sex. I don't get it she will be 14 in a few years anyway.
has 53.12 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: sex
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
has 53.08 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: sex
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
has 53.05 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, sex
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, men, sex
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, health, sex
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: insulting, sex, ugly, Yo mama
Two men were talking about their wives. First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please." Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, teacher, work
‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience. Between five it’s fantastic!’ Woody Allen
has 52.81 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: sex
Mary, a horny and sexy 23 year old and a handsome, single, sexy doctor Matt have an appointment together. Doctor: Well what's your problem madam? Mary: Well, there's something wrong with my tongue. Doctor: What's wrong with it? Mary: Examine it and you'll see. Doctor: Why don't you just- Mary: EXAMINE IT! Doctor: Fine. (Starts examining tongue, confused as there is nothing wrong with it.) Mary: (Suddenly pushes tongue into Matt's mouth) Doctor: (Pulls out tongue, furiously) Oh, so that's what's wrong with your tongue, eh? It's wanting sex. I see. I can fix that. (Goes to lock door, and rips off all of his clothes) Now your turn. Mary: Wow. I should have just asked. Doctor: (Starts to plunge in and out his dick from Mary's pussy.) Do you wanna make it more enjoyable? Mary: (Moaning and groaning sexually) Ooooooh yes.... Baby..... Yes.... Doctor: Ooooooh it feels SOOO good. (Starts to moan and groan sexually, he suddenly cums) Mary: Aaaaah a baby, fuck me more! Doctor: (Goes on top of Mary) I'm fucking you as hard as I can! When the session is finished, Mary wants to tell Matt something. Mary: That was great. But do you know why you got so aroused before? Doctors: Yes. It was very strange, I was not horny before. Mary: My tongue had viagra powder on it. That's why I put my tongue in your mouth.
has 52.80 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sex, viagra
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