The best sex jokes

Is it still rape if you yell 'Surprise!' first?
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, sex
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
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has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
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has 51.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it. Why? Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex. No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
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has 51.28 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, marriage, sex, wife
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, doctor, medical, sex
She’s got her very own method of birth control. She takes her make-up off.
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has 51.12 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: sex
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
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has 51.11 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: gay, political, republican, sex
Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’ Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’ Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’
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has 50.97 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: sex
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