The best sex jokes

Two sperm are in the body looking for the egg when one of them starts to wonder why it is taking so long. He asks the other sperm, "aren't we near the uterus yet?" "No," replied the other sperm, "we haven't even gotten to the esophagus."
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has 52.63 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: sex
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
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has 52.50 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, dog, love, sex
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responds the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
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has 52.44 % from 321 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, gay, sex
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
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has 52.33 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: sex
She’s got her very own method of birth control. She takes her make-up off.
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has 52.26 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: Why is a girls pussy like an ocean? A: It's really wet and has a Sperm Whale in it.
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has 52.23 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’ Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’ Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’
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has 52.09 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: sex
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
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has 52.04 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
This 12 year old boy was in bed when he heard his mother moaning. He decided that he'd go see whats wrong with her. When he looked in his mothers room he saw that she was laying on her bed naked and rubbing herself and saying"I need a man, I need a man" So this quite a few times and then one night he heard his mother again, but this time her moaning sounded different, so he went to go check it out, this time instead of seeing his mother alone, he sees his mother in bed with a man. So the boy runs back to his room, strips all his clothes off, jumps on the bed and starts rubbing himself while saying "I need a bike, I need a bike"!!!!!
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has 52.00 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: age, masturbation, sex
Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along. ‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says. ‘What time did you pull out this morning?’ ‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy. ‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’
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has 51.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: sex
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