The best sex jokes

"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says. "What? There's no such thing," she replied. "No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'" A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom. A few minutes later she comes out. "Wow, that was great!" She says. She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store. On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo. Well she's really enjoying herself. The car is swerving and she rolls through a red. She ends up getting pulled over by a cop. After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story. She explains about the magic dildo and the shop. The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
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What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
Vote: has 48.41 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!
Vote: has 48.25 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
Vote: has 48.20 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

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Men, don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms; buy an ordinary one and slip in a handful of frozen peas.
Vote: has 47.97 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

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Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Vote: has 47.89 % from 96 votes. Send joke:

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Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats? A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
Vote: has 47.76 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call kinky sex with chocolate? S&M&M.
Vote: has 47.63 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

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Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
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- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
Vote: has 47.46 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex