The best sex jokes

Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
Vote: has 35.94 % from 103 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, lesbian, sex
Q. What do gay kids get for Christmas? A. Erection Sets.
Vote: has 35.83 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Randy Rachel has got a speech impediment – she can’t say no.
Vote: has 35.73 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps. Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
Vote: has 35.71 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A hippie walks on a bus and sees a nun. Being the straight forward kind of guy he is, he says "Hey baby, want to have sex?" The nun says "God no!" so she gets off the bus angry. When the hippie is about to get off the bus, the bus driver asks him "Hey man. you see that graveyard across the street?" The hippie go's "yeah I see it, what about it?" "well every Tuesday night at 8:30. the nun go's to the top of the hill to pray. If you dress up as a ghost, and tell her to have sex with you, she'll have too" The hippie replied "sweet!" So Tuesday night comes and the hippie has a ghost costume, 8:30 comes and here comes the nun. The hippie pops out and says "I am the ghost of a man buried here, and I command you to have sex with me!" The nun go's "Well... ok, but I have a virgins aspect so it has to be oral" So the nun and the hippie have oral sex and the hippie runs away and says "Ha, ha I was actually the hippie" and the nun said "Ha, ha I'm actually the bus driver!"
Vote: has 35.34 % from 151 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, sex, time
Two old soldiers, Fred and Harry, are sitting in their club. Harry turns to Fred and says, ‘When was the last time you made love to a woman?’ Fred thinks for a moment then says, ‘1947.’ ‘Good heavens,’ says Harry. ‘That’s a very long time ago.’ ‘Not reall
Vote: has 35.34 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Vote: has 35.32 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, sex, women
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Vote: has 35.32 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: phone, sex, Yo mama
Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Vote: has 35.12 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, sex
My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"... its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
Vote: has 34.97 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex