The teacher had given the class an assignment.
He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family.
A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it.
Why?
Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex.
No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
She’s got her very own method of birth control.
She takes her make-up off.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
When his hand caught fire.
Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’
Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’
Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’
Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition.
The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ.
Aaron, you see what I am seeing?
Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine.
That long?
No, that dead.
Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?"
Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course."
The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather.
Kinky is using the whole chicken.
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed.
The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.