‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’ George Burns
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
My girlfriend likes to pretend to be a 14 year old when we have sex. I don't get it she will be 14 in a few years anyway.
Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’ Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’ Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
This 12 year old boy was in bed when he heard his mother moaning. He decided that he'd go see whats wrong with her. When he looked in his mothers room he saw that she was laying on her bed naked and rubbing herself and saying"I need a man, I need a man" So this quite a few times and then one night he heard his mother again, but this time her moaning sounded different, so he went to go check it out, this time instead of seeing his mother alone, he sees his mother in bed with a man. So the boy runs back to his room, strips all his clothes off, jumps on the bed and starts rubbing himself while saying "I need a bike, I need a bike"!!!!!
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate? S&M&M.