The best sex jokes

Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time.
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has 50.67 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: sex
My mate down the pub asked me last night "Why do you have so many sex noises saved to your phone?" I said, "It's for sound effects during sex." He asked, "Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?" I replied, "No, I work in a morgue."
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has 50.40 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: phone, sex
I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special.
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has 50.35 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: sex
This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$. He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally. As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!" Sally scoots out of the room. Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again. "What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!" Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, money, sex
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
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has 50.29 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex? A:Honey I'm home.
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has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex, wife
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex? A: freak.
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has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, sex
Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room. The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?" Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says: "I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
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has 50.17 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: gay, sex, work
Which is the most confusing day in America? Father's day! 80% don't know whom to wish. Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
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has 50.17 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, Fathers day, kids, sex
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
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has 50.15 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, family, kids, sex
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