Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!
Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ. Aaron, you see what I am seeing? Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine. That long? No, that dead.
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground. The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at. The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing. They father replies that the two spiders are having sex. It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other. The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg. The father says that they're both daddy long legs. The son stomps on them, killing them. The father asks why he did that. The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.’ Steve Martin
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
Yo moma so fat that when I tried to have sex with her I burned my ass off the lightbulb.