Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
Q: What did I do in the bed last night. A: Your mom.
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex? A: freak.
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Nigel, a college student is talking to a friend. ‘Y’ know,’ he says. ‘I think my room-mate is queer.’ ‘Why d’you say that?’ asks the student. ‘Well,’ replies Nigel. ‘Every time I kiss him goodnight he shuts his eyes.’