Are you a mum?
I am not a dad!
Maybe you could help me with that!
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed.
The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
Q: What did I do in the bed last night.
A: Your mom.
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex?
A: freak.
Vote:
Good: Your daughter has got a new job.
Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him.
The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
A: Uncle.
Q. Why don't little girls fart?
A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Nigel, a college student is talking to a friend.
‘Y’ know,’ he says.
‘I think my room-mate is queer.’ ‘Why d’you say that?’ asks the student.
‘Well,’ replies Nigel.
‘Every time I kiss him goodnight he shuts his eyes.’