Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
Bigamy is having one wife too many, but so is monogamy.
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
Q: What did I do in the bed last night. A: Your mom.
Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex? A:Honey I'm home.
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex? A: freak.
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.