The best sex jokes

Mary, a horny and sexy 23 year old and a handsome, single, sexy doctor Matt have an appointment together. Doctor: Well what's your problem madam? Mary: Well, there's something wrong with my tongue. Doctor: What's wrong with it? Mary: Examine it and you'll see. Doctor: Why don't you just- Mary: EXAMINE IT! Doctor: Fine. (Starts examining tongue, confused as there is nothing wrong with it.) Mary: (Suddenly pushes tongue into Matt's mouth) Doctor: (Pulls out tongue, furiously) Oh, so that's what's wrong with your tongue, eh? It's wanting sex. I see. I can fix that. (Goes to lock door, and rips off all of his clothes) Now your turn. Mary: Wow. I should have just asked. Doctor: (Starts to plunge in and out his dick from Mary's pussy.) Do you wanna make it more enjoyable? Mary: (Moaning and groaning sexually) Ooooooh yes.... Baby..... Yes.... Doctor: Ooooooh it feels SOOO good. (Starts to moan and groan sexually, he suddenly cums) Mary: Aaaaah a baby, fuck me more! Doctor: (Goes on top of Mary) I'm fucking you as hard as I can! When the session is finished, Mary wants to tell Matt something. Mary: That was great. But do you know why you got so aroused before? Doctors: Yes. It was very strange, I was not horny before. Mary: My tongue had viagra powder on it. That's why I put my tongue in your mouth.
Vote:
has 49.65 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sex, viagra
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
Vote:
has 49.30 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, flirt, sex
Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room. The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?" Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says: "I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
Vote:
has 49.30 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: gay, sex, work
Valentines Slogans 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
Vote:
has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, love, money, sex, Valentines day
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
Vote:
has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: sex
My mate down the pub asked me last night "Why do you have so many sex noises saved to your phone?" I said, "It's for sound effects during sex." He asked, "Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?" I replied, "No, I work in a morgue."
Vote:
has 49.20 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: phone, sex
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Vote:
has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fitness, flirt, food, sex
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
Vote:
has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: family, flirt, sex
A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs. When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered: "Its name is trouble". When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied: "I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's ass saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
Vote:
has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, kids, sex, teacher
Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
Vote:
has 48.95 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: sex
<<<69707172
More jokes →
Page 69 of 88.