A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground. The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at. The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing. They father replies that the two spiders are having sex. It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other. The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg. The father says that they're both daddy long legs. The son stomps on them, killing them. The father asks why he did that. The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
Men, don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms; buy an ordinary one and slip in a handful of frozen peas.
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it. Why? Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex. No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin? A: Relative humidity.
Yo mama's so fat when she is having sex, her partner doesen't know if it's in her butt or her boobs.
‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.’ Steve Martin
Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: Gorgonzola! Wait, it is not on yet.