Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: Gorgonzola! Wait, it is not on yet.
How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner "Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom." The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob. So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis. So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"
I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special.
What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.