The best sex jokes

One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test. While there, his blood got drawn and he then left. Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test. Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive." The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?" The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream." The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?" The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."
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has 48.49 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, gay, health, sex
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, men, sex
How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, women
So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner "Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom." The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob. So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis. So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, phone, sex, stupid
I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special.
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has 48.20 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: sex
What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
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has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: sex
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
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has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: sex
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
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has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fitness, flirt, food, sex
Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ. Aaron, you see what I am seeing? Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine. That long? No, that dead.
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has 48.14 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: death, jewish, sex
Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
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has 48.11 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: sex
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