What do nostalgic gynaecologists do?
Look up old friends.
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"?
- "No, I had sex in high school."
Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom...
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test.
While there, his blood got drawn and he then left.
Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test.
Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive."
The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?"
The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream."
The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?"
The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.