I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special.
What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room. The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?" Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says: "I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.