Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room.
The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?"
Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says:
"I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
Did you hear about the transvestite who wanted a night on the town?
He wanted to eat, drink and be Mary.
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
Vote:
Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’
Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’
Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
A guy went to a supermarket and began to smoke.
Miss salesman: "Sir don't smoke here."
Guy: "I've just bought the cigarettes from here."
Miss salesman: "We sell condoms too; so that is not why you fuck me here."
Vote:
Two old men hobble into the pub.
One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’
‘All right,’ says the other.
‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
Two men were talking about their wives.
First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please."
Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.