Two old men hobble into the pub.
One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’
‘All right,’ says the other.
‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?"
A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
Vote:
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Q: How is spinach like anal sex?
A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.
Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’
Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’
Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
Did you hear about the new contraceptive pill for men?
You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex?
A: Gladiator.