‘I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said “No”.’ Woody Allen
‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room. The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?" Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says: "I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
Did you hear about the transvestite who wanted a night on the town? He wanted to eat, drink and be Mary.
The sexologist to Johny: "let´s talk about sex!" Johny: "I have no idea."
Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’ Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’
Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.