I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room. The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?" Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says: "I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
Did you hear about the transvestite who wanted a night on the town? He wanted to eat, drink and be Mary.
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’ Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’
Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.
Two old men hobble into the pub. One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’ ‘All right,’ says the other. ‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’
Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony? A: The blond girl told him to come outside
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.