The best sex jokes

What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
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has 47.36 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex, women
Valentines Slogans 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
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has 47.24 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, love, money, sex, Valentines day
Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
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has 47.24 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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has 47.24 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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has 47.24 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, kids, sex
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful. As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years." Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
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has 46.97 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, school, sex, time
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
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has 46.63 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, doctor, medical, sex
Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room. The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?" Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says: "I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: gay, sex, work
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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has 46.53 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, internet, sex
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
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