The best sex jokes

I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special.
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has 47.64 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: sex
Two condoms are walking down the street when they walk by a gay bar. One condom says to the other, "Hey man, you wanna get shit-faced?"
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has 47.62 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: bar, gay, sex
Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ. Aaron, you see what I am seeing? Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine. That long? No, that dead.
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has 47.59 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: death, jewish, sex
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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has 47.36 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
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has 47.36 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex, women
Valentines Slogans 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
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has 47.24 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, love, money, sex, Valentines day
Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
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has 47.24 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, flirt, sex
Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!
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has 47.19 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
Yo moma so fat that when I tried to have sex with her I burned my ass off the lightbulb.
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has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, light bulb, sex, Yo mama
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