The best sex jokes

A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: bible, dirty, priest, religious, sex
Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
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has 48.11 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: sex
Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
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has 48.11 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
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has 48.11 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: sex
Yo moma so fat that when I tried to have sex with her I burned my ass off the lightbulb.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, light bulb, sex, Yo mama
Think of the hottest woman. Chuck Norris did her.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: beauty, Chuck Norris, sex, women
Men, don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms; buy an ordinary one and slip in a handful of frozen peas.
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: sex
They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, flirt, sex
Valentines Slogans 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, love, money, sex, Valentines day
Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex? A:Honey I'm home.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex, wife
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