How can you tell if your girlfriend’s frigid?
When you open her legs, the lights go on.
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
Vote:
A man asks his buddy: "Listen to me! Why has your wife left you, if I may ask?"
And he says, "you know, she has told me that I am weak in the bed."
"Oh, that is really sad. And what do you do to improve it?"
And he says again: "you know, I have bought one book, the name of this book is Kamasutra, you know I am helping myself with the hand, I have learned all positions, but the last position I am not gonna make."
"And what is the name of this position?"
"You know, imagine the missionary position."
Peter approaches the gates of Heaven.
"Knock knock," says Peter.
Miraculously, someone answers him.
"Who's there," a voice in the distance asked.
"God," says Peter.
"God who," asked the voice?
"GOD DAMMIT open these gates!
I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
Vote:
Doc, every time after sex I hear whistle.
What's your age?
70.
You know, this is very natural. It would strange if you heard applause...
Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it.
Why?
Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex.
No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Vote:
Did you hear about the transvestite who wanted a night on the town?
He wanted to eat, drink and be Mary.
Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.