The best sex jokes

Why can’t gypsies have babies? Because their husbands have crystal balls.
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has 37.36 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: sex
A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty. His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex. After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition. ‘Stuff that!’ says the woman. ‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
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has 37.36 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: sex
In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
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has 37.36 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: sex
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
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has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: bible, dirty, priest, religious, sex
A hippie walks on a bus and sees a nun. Being the straight forward kind of guy he is, he says "Hey baby, want to have sex?" The nun says "God no!" so she gets off the bus angry. When the hippie is about to get off the bus, the bus driver asks him "Hey man. you see that graveyard across the street?" The hippie go's "yeah I see it, what about it?" "well every Tuesday night at 8:30. the nun go's to the top of the hill to pray. If you dress up as a ghost, and tell her to have sex with you, she'll have too" The hippie replied "sweet!" So Tuesday night comes and the hippie has a ghost costume, 8:30 comes and here comes the nun. The hippie pops out and says "I am the ghost of a man buried here, and I command you to have sex with me!" The nun go's "Well... ok, but I have a virgins aspect so it has to be oral" So the nun and the hippie have oral sex and the hippie runs away and says "Ha, ha I was actually the hippie" and the nun said "Ha, ha I'm actually the bus driver!"
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has 37.23 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: gay, sex, time
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
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has 36.46 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, Fathers day, marriage, sex
What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers? ‘Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…’
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has 36.45 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: sex
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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has 36.45 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, kids, sex
My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"... its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
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has 36.14 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.
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has 35.87 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dad, insulting, sex, stupid, Yo mama
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