Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.
A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite.
‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk.
‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night?
A: Pastor Bedtime.
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A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty.
His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex.
After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition.
‘Stuff that!’ says the woman.
‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
Why can’t gypsies have babies?
Because their husbands have crystal balls.
Q: Do you know what 69 is?
A: It's a good thing screwed up by a period.
Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs?
A: Because they have to!
My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"...
its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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