The best sex jokes

A man who recently had a sex-change operation was talking to his former buddies at work about the operation. "Was it painful?" someone asked. "Well,"she said. "There was one part that was extremely painful." "I bet I know what part was so painful," someone else said. "I bet it was when they cut off your balls," they said. "No," she said. "I was heavily sedated and didn't feel a thing." "Then it must have been when they cut off your pecker," another person offered. "No," she said. "I was sedated then too, and didn't feel anything." "Then what part of the operation was so painful?" They wanted to know. "Well," she said. "After they were done cutting, they stuck a straw in my ear and sucked out half of my brains."
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has 39.04 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sex, work
A guy walks into a drug store and asks for a packet of condoms. The pharmacist says, ‘That’ll be £5.00 with the tax.’ ‘Tacks?’, the guy exclaims. ‘I thought you rolled them on!’
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has 38.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
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has 38.58 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, lesbian, sex
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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has 38.55 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, sex
My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps. Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
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has 38.55 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: sex
What does a nigger do after sex? 25 years to life.
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has 38.38 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, sex, time
What do you say to a virgin? Thanks for nothing!
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has 38.34 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’ Les Dawson
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has 38.26 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: sex
A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty. His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex. After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition. ‘Stuff that!’ says the woman. ‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
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has 38.25 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: sex
Roses are red violets are blue, I have never tried So can I stick it up you?
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has 37.63 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, poems, relationship, sex
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