What’s the definition of a Yankee?
Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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What do you say to a virgin?
Thanks for nothing!
A guy walks into a drug store and asks for a packet of condoms.
The pharmacist says, ‘That’ll be £5.00 with the tax.’
‘Tacks?’, the guy exclaims.
‘I thought you rolled them on!’
My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps.
Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’
Les Dawson
A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty.
His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex.
After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition.
‘Stuff that!’ says the woman.
‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?
A. Finger painting.
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