The best sex jokes

A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty. His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex. After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition. ‘Stuff that!’ says the woman. ‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
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has 38.48 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
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has 38.42 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: church, dirty, little Johnny, sex
Roses are red violets are blue, I have never tried So can I stick it up you?
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has 38.34 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, poems, relationship, sex
‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’ Les Dawson
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has 38.26 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: sex
A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter" The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?" The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
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has 38.23 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, doctor, sex
What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers? ‘Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…’
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has 37.73 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: sex
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
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has 37.63 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, sex, Yo mama
A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite. ‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk. ‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’
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has 37.60 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: sex
In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
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has 37.36 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: sex
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