Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted. Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!" His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible." Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, "Do you see it?" Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!" Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!" Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."
Why can't girls play hockey? Because their pads can't last three periods.
Yo mama's so skinny, she used a needle for a baseball bat.
Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.
Dad shouts ..."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!" Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!
Lebron better than Jordan? Ha! Yea right. Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.