What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA
Yo mama so fat when she was swimming in the ocean the indians claimed her as the new land.
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
The water in Rio is so bad that even Usain Bolt had the "runs" in his last race!
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
Your mama so fat, that she can use herself as a bowling ball and get 10 strikes in all of the lanes!
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched with horror as her ball headed directly towards a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of them and he immediately fell to the ground clutching his hands together in his groin, and rolled around in obvious agony. The woman rushed over and immediately began to apologize "Please allow me to help, I'm a physiotherapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'll allow me" she told him." "Oh no I'll be all right, I'll be fine in a few minutes" the man replied, still lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. Following her persistence however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them at his sides, she loosened his trousers and put her hand inside. She administered tender and skillful massage for several long moments and then asked "How does that feel?" He replied "It feels fabulous, but my thumb still hurts like hell."