The best sport jokes

One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
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has 70.32 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: fitness, health, sex, sport, wife
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: pirate, sport
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate? A: Pork Chop.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, sport
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
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has 69.92 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, old people, sport
Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in London. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level. The Brunette team down below is living it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. She says, "What the heck's going on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
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has 69.86 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: sport
Julia began her job in a secondary school as a counselor and she was keen to help the pupils. One day during break-time she noticed a girl standing all by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the children were enjoying a game of soccer at the other end of the field. Julia approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said that she was. Some time later, however, Julia noticed that the girl was in exactly the same spot, still by herself. Going up to her again, she enquired, 'Would you like me to be your friend?' The girl hesitated, then said, 'Alright,' while looking at Julia with some suspicion. Feeling she was making progress, Julia then asked, 'Why are you standing here all alone?' 'Because,' the girl said with a large sigh, 'I'm the goalie!'
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has 69.47 % from 213 votes. More jokes about: school, sport, work
The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. He turned on the jockey. "Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?" "Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: horse, sport
Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl? A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.
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has 69.02 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sport