During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders. The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to his star football player, "You are such a big, burley guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman? She is no bigger than your hand." "That's right, Coach," replied the lineman. "But, she's much better!"
Did you hear the NFL is changing the color off the football to green? Yeah, you ever hear of a black person droping a watermelon?
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox." "Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too." "That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?" "No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the second fan. "If they made more of an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, I'd be supporting a decent team."