What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus? A dead wringer.
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
Q: How do you fix a broken website? A: With stick e-tape.
Black man says to siri: "Take me home" Siri replies: "Taking you the quickest route to jail."
Q: How do you know when an Asian robs your house? A: Your technology has been upgraded, your homework is finished, but he's still trying to back out of your drive way.
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
It was Valentine's day and Jim and Danielle's first date. They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start. The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema's concession stand. Jim and Danielle realised that there was no sound. The film began but the silence continued. Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd loudly shouted, "Okay, who's got the remote control?"