The best technology jokes

Yo' Mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed a two-hour special of "Lost."
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, technology, Yo mama
What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float? You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.
Vote: has 47.76 % from 329 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist, technology
Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
Vote: has 47.21 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, dad, geek, IT, technology
SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles. KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs. TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and is often over-inflated. HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it . . . and, of course, there's the hot air part. SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water. WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on. SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out. COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up -- because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed -- because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed. ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them. SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. REMOTE CONTROL -- Definitely female, because it gives men pleasure; he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
Vote: has 46.60 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, technology, time, travel
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police." Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, phone, technology
What do you do if you see your TV floating? Say " DROP IT NIGGA". What do you do if you see you refridgerator floating? Run because that is one hell of a big black guy!
Vote: has 46.07 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist, technology
Yo mamma so stupid she puts a piece of paper on the TV and says, "I'm watching paper-view."
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: stupid, technology, Yo mama
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do? Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she smashed open her TV hoping to find a TV dinner.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: stupid, technology, Yo mama
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
Vote: has 43.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, student, teacher, technology, time