The best technology jokes

What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East? A: A Selfie!
Vote: has 54.77 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Vote: has 54.66 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What do builders use to make websites? A: Com.crete.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: internet, technology
Yo Momma is so fat, she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, technology, Yo mama
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female......Any part under a car's hood. Male........The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male........Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male........Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family. Male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend. 5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v. Female......A good movie, concert, play or book. Male........Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex. 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female......An embarrassing by-product of digestion. Male........A source of entertainment, self-statement and male bonding. 7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female......The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed. 8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 113 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, communication, football, marriage, technology
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, party, technology
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.
Vote: has 54.09 % from 413 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Facebook, technology
Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.
Vote: has 54.05 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, technology, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, technology, Yo mama


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