A retiree and his aged wife started having problems in remembering, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.
After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.
The couple thanked the doctor and left.
Later that night while watching TV, the wife got up from her chair and her retired husband asks, "Where are you going?"
She replies, "To the kitchen."
he asks "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
She replies, "Sure." he then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"
She says, "No, I can remember that." he then says, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top.
You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that."
She says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
he replies, "Well, I also would like whip cream on top.
I know you will forget that so you better write it down."
With irritation in her voice, she says, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that."
She then fumes into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes she returns from the kitchen and hands him a plate of bacon and eggs.
He stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."
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How do barmen surf the web?
On the Gin-ternet.
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Thank you for your email.
Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
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As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months.
One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job.
I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case.
"If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
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1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female......Any part under a car's hood.
Male........The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male........Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male........Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)
Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v.
Female......A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male........Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female......An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male........A source of entertainment, self-statement and male bonding.
7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female......The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.
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Joke has 51.54 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, football, marriage, technology
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
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What do you get if you cross a Kindle with an Apple iPhone 4S?
4Skin.
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Sony 16:9
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Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch!
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