The best technology jokes

A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, party, technology
A retiree and his aged wife started having problems in remembering, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the wife got up from her chair and her retired husband asks, "Where are you going?" She replies, "To the kitchen." he asks "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" She replies, "Sure." he then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" She says, "No, I can remember that." he then says, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that." She says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." he replies, "Well, I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down." With irritation in her voice, she says, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that." She then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes she returns from the kitchen and hands him a plate of bacon and eggs. He stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, memory, old people, technology, wife
How do barmen surf the web? On the Gin-ternet.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, internet, technology
Q: How do you fix a broken website? A: With stick e-tape.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: internet, IT, technology
Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.
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has 52.59 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: money, technology, Yo mama
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook, technology
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, coding, geek, IT, technology
Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.
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has 52.05 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, technology
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: computer, kids, navy, technology, time
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook, internet, technology
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