Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach? No, you should do it on a computer.
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do? Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police." Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."
Yo mamma so stupid she puts a piece of paper on the TV and says, "I'm watching paper-view."
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
Yo mama so stupid when I said I was going to the big apple she said bring me back one.