Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
Yo mama so stupid when I said I was going to the big apple she said bring me back one.
Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach? No, you should do it on a computer.
Chuck Norris can set the oven to cold.
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do? Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
Yo mamma so stupid she puts a piece of paper on the TV and says, "I'm watching paper-view."
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float? You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.
PlayStation network was never hacked. Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.