Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner.
It's like it wasn't even designed for women.
How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
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Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.
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Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.
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Yo mama's so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!
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New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...
I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe...
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support."
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er...
I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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Your mom so dumb she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
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Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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