Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
Q: How do you fix a broken website? A: With stick e-tape.
Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.
Yo mama's so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!
New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
Your mom so dumb she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.