Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote.
He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
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Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus?
GarageBend.
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Chuck can use "save" in real life.
But he doesn't need it.
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Yo mama so stupid when I said I was going to the big apple she said bring me back one.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the cinema, he changes the movies with his remote control.
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Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name.
It's called the internet.
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Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.
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A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America.
She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?"
The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya"
And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum"
The guy says: "In that case follow me"
So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!"
So she picks up his dick, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"
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PlayStation network was never hacked.
Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
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