Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed a two-hour special of "Lost."
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At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians.
American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1.
This will record the call and connect them with the police."
Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."
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Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
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Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
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Yo mama is so stupid that when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.
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Yo mama's so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!
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A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America.
She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?"
The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya"
And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum"
The guy says: "In that case follow me"
So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!"
So she picks up his dick, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"
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Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she went to buy a color television, she left the store because they didn't have one in pink.
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