The best time jokes

Ten years without brushing causes horrible tooth decade.
Vote:
has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dentist, health, time
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 52.23 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
There are three men on a desert island: Genius, Smart, and Idiot. Genius has concluded that at least one man must swim to shore and get help. Genius volunteered himself, as he is the most likely to get remember to get help. Genius, not being very athletic, swam halfway to safety and then drowned. Days later, Smart finally realized Genius drowned. Smart then decided it was his turn to swim and get help. Idiot agreed because he didn't know what was happening. Smart, not being very athletic, swam three quarte rs of the way to safety and drowned. Days later, Idiot decided it must his turn to swim. He also did not know what his goal was. Idiot, not having very much intelligence, swam halfway to safety, felt tired, so he swam back to the island he was stranded on.
Vote:
has 51.80 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: desert island, memory, sport, stupid, time
A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself? The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!" 2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened? I shot myself into my knee.
Vote:
has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, medical, time, women
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, travel, weather
Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: athlete, time
Yo mama is so stupid that she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate".
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: stupid, time, Yo mama
A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future. The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, time, vulgar, work
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. "Where were you? I was worried sick." "It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
Vote:
has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: bird, couple, sport, time
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Vote:
has 51.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, Chuck Norris, time
<<<37383940
More jokes →
Page 37 of 53.