Yo Momma's so fat that while she's sits on the beach, the lifeguard comes up to her to say, "Excuse me mame, but the tide wants to come in."
Q: Why are native Americans effective strippers? A: When they dance they make it rain.
I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
There were these two blonds and they locked their keys in their car. The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?" The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in." The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?" The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger." The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."
Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
Yo Momma so fat, she rolled out of bed and everybody thought there was an earthquake.
Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?" Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"