There were these two blonds and they locked their keys in their car. The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?" The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in." The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?" The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger." The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."
Yo Momma's so fat that while she's sits on the beach, the lifeguard comes up to her to say, "Excuse me mame, but the tide wants to come in."
Q: How are women and tornadoes alike? A: They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they go.
Yo Momma so fat, she rolled out of bed and everybody thought there was an earthquake.
The Sun is shining, what a beautiful day! It would be a pity not to sit this day in a pub by the window though.
I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
Q: Why are native Americans effective strippers? A: When they dance they make it rain.
Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
Yo mama's so fat that when she jumped into the ocean a hurricane began.