Q: How are women and tornadoes alike? A: They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they go.
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Q: Why are native Americans effective strippers? A: When they dance they make it rain.
Yo Momma so fat, she rolled out of bed and everybody thought there was an earthquake.
Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? A: He heard the snow blower coming.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
There was a tornado in my area the other day. The sky was so black; it took my bike.
The July temperature in Joplin climbed over the one hundred mark. Despite the scorching heat, Bozell was outside painting his house. A passerby stopped for a moment to watch him and then asked, "How cum yer wearin' two jackets?" "'Cause," said the redneck, "the directions on the can say ta put on two coats!"
It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.