Q: Why are native Americans effective strippers? A: When they dance they make it rain.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
On a Trans-Atlantic Flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman, in particular, loses it! Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's drop-dead gorgeous. Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Here, iron this."
Yo Momma so fat, she rolled out of bed and everybody thought there was an earthquake.
Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
What is the similarities between a black girl, and a tornado? They both suck, blow, and leave you homeless!
Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".
The Sun is shining, what a beautiful day! It would be a pity not to sit this day in a pub by the window though.