Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
It was very hot, and this guy runs to a nearby store to buy a hand fan. There were two similar fans in make and model but one was 25 cents and the other was 50 cents. The guy opted for the cheaper one thinking that they work the same way. Before he left the store, the owner tried to impress on the buyer on how each works, but the buyer was not interested - a fan is a fan is a fan, and he knows how to work it. The 25 cent fan broke. He came back yelling and screaming that the fan was no good. The owner explained that he should have got the operating instructions: "With the 50 cent fan, you move your wrist left and right to get the air flowing. With the 25 cent fan which works differently, you hold the fan steady in your wrist and move your head left to right to get the air flowing."
Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.
Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?" Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"
There was a tornado in my area the other day. The sky was so black; it took my bike.
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
Hurricanes are really just Chuck Norris breathing into the rain.