The July temperature in Joplin climbed over the one hundred mark. Despite the scorching heat, Bozell was outside painting his house. A passerby stopped for a moment to watch him and then asked, "How cum yer wearin' two jackets?" "'Cause," said the redneck, "the directions on the can say ta put on two coats!"
I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?" Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"
Q: What 80's rock band is banned from New Orleans and why? A: The Scorpions. Every time they're in town, they rock you like a hurricane.
Q: How did the hail stone describe its life? A: It really has a lot of ups and downs.
Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches. Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.
Yo mama's so fat that when she jumped into the ocean a hurricane began.
What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.