The best jokes about women

In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: god, men, women
As someone died, Saint. Peter gave him a tour to the new place. While wandering he sees an old familiar guy who was accompanied by a very ugly woman. He asks Saint Peter: "But how does the man walks around with a woman like that when he spent his life with the most beautiful women?" "Oh my child, he killed a pigeon when he was alive and now he is being punished." They walk further down, and meets another friend with a frighteningly ugly women. "Holy God but he was circulated only by models when he was alive, how come he withstands this now?" "O my child that man killed two pigeons when he was alive." They continued wandering and suddenly he sees someone who was so ugly and stupid and never had any woman when he lived. But he was accompanied by THE WOMAN! Extra tall and hotty. The man lost his mind. "Holy God, but such an ugly face with such a gorgeous woman?" "Yes my son, but this hotty burned the whole pigeon house, when she was alive!"
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: women
A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road. He was skeptical about hiring her, but she appeared enthusiastic and told him that she really needed the job. He explained to her that her work day would be to complete 2 miles of line on her road, and he set her up with her brushes and paint and got her started. After the first day, he was pleased to find that she did an excellent job and was able to paint 4 miles of road in her 8 hour shift. He told her that she did an excellent job and how pleased he was with her progress. On the second day, she completed painting 2 miles of road. Her supervisor was surprised that on day one she had completed twice as much work, but did not say anything, as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required anyway. He decided to just accept it, and to look forward to the next day when he was sure she would pick up her speed again. On day 3 he was shocked to learn that in her 8 hour shift, she only completed painting 1 mile of road. He called her into his office and asked her what was the problem, “On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, on your second day, 2 miles of road, and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road. Can I ask you, what is the problem?” “Well, she replied, I keep getting farther and farther from the paint can.”
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: blonde, time, women, work
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: god, men, women
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
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has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: death, men, military, women
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
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has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
*Girl is crying* Dad: Why you crying? Girl: My boyfriend dumped me! Dad: (Grabs shot gun) I'll be back.. A while later dad comes back Girl: What the hell! why did you go kill him! Dad: I didn't Girl: Where did you go? Dad: To get you icecream :D Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot gun?! Dad: So I could get it for free!
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has 65.93 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, women
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
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has 65.83 % from 412 votes. More jokes about: age, kids, women
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?" A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?" He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Thinking maybe she’d won, he rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?" The operator replies, "I don’t know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!"
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: women
Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, music, women
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