Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1) None. Feminists can't change anything. 2) Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to berate any men who offer to help.
A nice lady in a short skirt walks up to a police man on the street and says, "I have a problem." The police man asked her what it is, she points to a man across the street and says, "See that man?" The police man replies, "Yes, is he watching you?" She replies, " NO!, that is the problem!"
Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.