A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end… "And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."
How can you tell she's a macho women? She rolls her own tampons.
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Man, I'm on the wrong bus!"
Q: What do you call a blonde chick standing on her head? A: A brunette.
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives. The one guy said, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional.” The second guy responded, “I’m a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids.” They then asked the woman, “What are you?” She replied: “I’m a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”
On a crowded bus, an old lady noticed that a man had his eyes closed. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" she asked. "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight... But honey, what about our kid? What kid? So you are not you pregnant?!
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?