The best jokes about women

Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Vote: has 59.74 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, men, women
On a crowded bus, an old lady noticed that a man had his eyes closed. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" she asked. "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."
Vote: has 59.74 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight... But honey, what about our kid? What kid? So you are not you pregnant?!
Vote: has 59.35 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, women
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: technology, wine, women, work
Two old women were talking about their sex lives. Ethel was upset because her sex life had really died, while Mildred said her sex life was great. Mildred counseled Ethel, "When my Sammy is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lie on the bed, and put both legs behind my head. When he sees me like that, he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night." Ethel said, "I'm going to try that tonight." While Ethel's husband Harold was in the bathroom that night, she took off all her clothes. She struggled to get both legs behind her head. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel fell backwards and couldn't move. Harold came out of the bathroom with a shocked look on his face. "For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in. You look like an a**hole."
Vote: has 59.17 % from 76 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, marriage, sex, women
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
Vote: has 59.15 % from 106 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, women
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives. The one guy said, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional.” The second guy responded, “I’m a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids.” They then asked the woman, “What are you?” She replied: “I’m a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”
Vote: has 58.87 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. "How much for the white one?" "$10." "How much for the black one?" "$20." She buys the white one. A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. A third lady comes in for a dildo. She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one. She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went. "Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"
Vote: has 58.87 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, money, women
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
Vote: has 58.87 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, friendship, nerd, women
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
Vote: has 58.77 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: game, money, women


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