The best jokes about women

Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common? A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
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has 60.41 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, game, sex, women
Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... On a broomstick. We're flexible like that.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: women
How can you tell she's a macho women? She rolls her own tampons.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women? A: men have an antenna!
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has 59.80 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, women
On a crowded bus, an old lady noticed that a man had his eyes closed. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" she asked. "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: women
When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: god, love, women
Which Women's Day gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive! 1. Candy 2. Flowers 3. A sweet poem 4. Dinner/Dancing 5. Waffle iron 1. CANDY It means that... You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share. OR... You're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything, even true love. 2. FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR... You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die. 3. A SWEET POEM It means that... You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. OR... You're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. 4. DINNER/DANCING It means that... You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight. OR... You're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor. 5. WAFFLE IRON It means that... You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use. OR... You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant fetish involving kitchen appliances.
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, food, mean, romantic, women
A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy her cigarettes. He walks there only to find it closed. So, he goes into a nearby bar to use their vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and eventually end up in her apartment. After they've had some fun, he realizes it's 3 a.m. and says, "My wife's going to kill me. Do you have any talcum powder?" The woman gives him some talcum powder, which he rubs on his hands and then goes home. His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and screeches, "Where the hell have you been?!" "Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there, we had a few drinks, one thing led to another, and I ended up in bed with her." "Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and says, "You liar! You went bowling again!"
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has 59.69 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: beauty, marriage, wife, women
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
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has 59.61 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, wife, women
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
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has 59.31 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: sport, women
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