Why did the blonde have a sore belly button? Because there are blonde men too!
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild? Money.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Columbia." As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
A couple was having an argument, and the man was losing badly. After 5 minutes the woman won the argument proving the man to be stupid, the man sadly says "If my proof falls then I rome through the halls." Then the woman leaves for 10 minutes and comes back starts giving him a blowjob. The man is confused and says "what are you doing?" She said "If I prove you dumb I give ya some." The man continues to lose a argument knowing he will get a blowjob after 10 minutes, and he did. Years later they have a kid but none of them want him so they have an argument of who takes care of it and the other leaves for good. The man without a thought loses the argument the get another blowjob, but after the argument the woman starts rapping "Yo yo guess who's the kid, not me so suck yourself bitch." Before she leaves the he says "what about the blowjob?" She says ask my twin sister that has herpes cause she did it the whole time.
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Womem"? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!