The best jokes about women

How many men does it take to please a woman. Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: women
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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has 28.45 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Why do women have periods? A: Because they deserve them.
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has 28.32 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working? A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
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has 28.27 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: black humor, vulgar, women, work
Question: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? Answer: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
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has 28.11 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: women
Not too long ago, there was a woman who wanted to know how her husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone.  She decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore. After writing the letter, she put it on the table in the bedroom and then climbed under the bed to hide until her husband got home.  When he eventually came back home, he saw the letter on the table and read it. After a few moments of silence, he picked up the pen and added something to the letter. Then he started to get changed, whistling happy tunes and singing and dancing while he did so. He grabbed his phone and dialed a number.  His wife listened from under the bed as he started chatting to someone.  "Hey babe, I'm just changing clothes then will join you," he said. "As for the other fool, it finally dawned on her that I was fooling around on her and left. I was really wrong to have married her; I wish you and me had met earlier. See you soon, honey!"  Then he hung up and walked out of the room. In tears and very upset, she climbed out from under the bed and stumbled over to read what her unfaithful husband had written on the end of her letter.  Through teary eyes, she read: "I could see your feet you idiot, I am going out to buy bread."
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has 27.94 % from 1647 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, music, women
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
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has 27.66 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: phone, women
Knock knockrn Who's there? Woman who? Wo-man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke Knock knock. Who's there? Man. Man who? Man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke.
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has 26.83 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, men, women
A man, a woman, and a great survivor are trapped on an island. The survivor finds a bunch of coconuts. The man thinks to himself, "What if there are other people on the island? Then we won't be stranded!" He throws coconuts at nearby ships, and the island was populated. Everybody looks at him cross. Then they kick him off the island.
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has 26.68 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: desert island, mean, men, travel, women
Q: Whats the most worthless thing on a woman's body? A: A Mexican.
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has 24.21 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: mexican, racist, women
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