How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it..
Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working?
A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
Vote:
Question: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
Answer: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Not too long ago, there was a woman who wanted to know how her husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone.
She decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore.
After writing the letter, she put it on the table in the bedroom and then climbed under the bed to hide until her husband got home.
When he eventually came back home, he saw the letter on the table and read it.
After a few moments of silence, he picked up the pen and added something to the letter.
Then he started to get changed, whistling happy tunes and singing and dancing while he did so. He grabbed his phone and dialed a number.
His wife listened from under the bed as he started chatting to someone.
"Hey babe, I'm just changing clothes then will join you," he said.
"As for the other fool, it finally dawned on her that I was fooling around on her and left. I was really wrong to have married her; I wish you and me had met earlier. See you soon, honey!"
Then he hung up and walked out of the room.
In tears and very upset, she climbed out from under the bed and stumbled over to read what her unfaithful husband had written on the end of her letter.
Through teary eyes, she read: "I could see your feet you idiot, I am going out to buy bread."
Why did the woman cross the road?
That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin.
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common?
A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news.
One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping.
A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby.
"Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it.
If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Question: What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence?
Answer: Divorced.
Q: Whats the most worthless thing on a woman's body?
A: A Mexican.