How are babies and the elderly alike? Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
How can you tell if your husband is dead? The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
Chuck Norris is the reason you turn a light on when you enter a room.
Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys." Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. "That was amazing," exclaimed the coach. "I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?" "Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
Q: What dinosaur would Harry Potter be? A: The Dinosorcerer
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: Women's Rights.