When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
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What's the only thing white girls swallow?
Starbucks.
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris.
It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
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There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
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Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!
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An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup.
A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?"
And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?"
And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"
Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Q: Why do blacks have flat noses?
A: That's where God put his foot when he pulled off their tails.
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How can you tell if your girlfriend’s frigid?
When you open her legs, the lights go on.