Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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Where was your mom last night?
At Chuck Norris' place.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
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Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Gravity obeys Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
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Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
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