Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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All men are born equal.
Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
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Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
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Chuck Norris can play Pokemon Go on his landline.
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Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS.
Chuck Norris decides where he is.
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Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.
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Chuck Norris could actually win on Takeshi's Castle.
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