Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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Chuck Norris once stayed at the Hotel California and was allowed to check out... and leave.
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Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
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