Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
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Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
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Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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Chuck Noris once got his blood tested.
His blood type was AK-47.
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Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.
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