Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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Chuck Norris is allowed to draw pictures of Mohammad.
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A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over."
Those children were the dinosaurs.
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Chuck Norris can make a snowman with sand.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow.
The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold.
So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
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Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer.
Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter.
To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
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