Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner?
A: Toast their clients.
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How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
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Chuck Norris is the reason you turn a light on when you enter a room.
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Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
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Q: Wanna hear a joke?
A: Women's Rights.
If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
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A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys."
Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch.
"That was amazing," exclaimed the coach.
"I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?"
"Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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