Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
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What do you call a black guy in a coffin?
A box of chocolate.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
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A married couple go to a restaurant.
A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it.
The man asks, "Where's the burger?"
The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit.
"I was keeping it warm," she replies.
The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle.
They made it to an uninhabited island.
Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing.
Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing.
Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
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A husband and wife are driving along when they see an injured skunk lying by the roadside.
They decide to take it to a vet but don’t have anything to carry it in.
‘Why not wrap it in your skirt?’ suggests the husband.
‘What about the stink?’ protests his wife.
Her husband replies, ‘It’ll just have to get used to it.’
Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
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