Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".
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Chuck Norris stuffs lockers into bullies!
If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
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Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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Q: Why doesn't the skeleton go to the party?
A: Because it had no body to go with no body get it.
I weighed myself today.
It is clear I am too small for my weight.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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What do you call a black guy in a coffin?
A box of chocolate.
Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
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