Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
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The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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Ghosts actually have their own kind of tv.
The show that scares them the most is called "Chuck Norris Caught On Tape".
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas.
He just hired Chuck Norris.
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