Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
When Chuck Norris has your back you aren't likely to get it back again.
There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong. The riddle can only have the wrong answer.
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.