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A friend of mine often tells to his wife: "It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved…"
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More jokes about: love, marriage, wife
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore: marriage is an institution for the blind.
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Someone calls at the hotline: Good evening. I’ve just installed Windows 98... So? Wheel I have a problem... Ok, ok, you just said that...
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More jokes about: IT, phone
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Priest said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
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More jokes about: marriage, priest, wedding, women
A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist." The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
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More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, fart
What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man? Answer: “Lazy.”
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More jokes about: women
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
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More jokes about: animal, car, mechanic, work
What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.
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More jokes about: women
Your Momma is like Burger King "Have it Your Way".
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More jokes about: food, Yo mama
If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
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More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris