There's a senior citizen driving on the highway.
His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "George, be careful!
I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 110!"
George says, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"
"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality."
"Who told you that?"
"Gynecologist."
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A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Priest said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
A blonde and a both jump off a cliff at the same time.
Which one will hit the bottom first?
The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions.
They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
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Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
July 4th is Independence day.
And the day Chuck Norris was born.
Coincidence? I think not.
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Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off.
It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
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