What is a nigger? Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
"Does your dog bite?" "No." (Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him) "Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" "That is not my dog."
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Yo momma’s so ugly, people make jokes about her.
A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the plane and sat down in first class. A few minutes later, a flight attendent came up to her and told her that her ticket was for coach and she had to move from the seat. She refused. The flight attendent was persistant, but the blonde replied, "No, I want to sit here, I've always wanted to see what it is like in first class." The flight attendent was getting frustrated. Finally, after quite some time, she convinced her to move. Another passenger who overheard the conversation asked the attendent, "How did you get her to move?" The flight attendent replied, "I told her that first class doesn't stop in Detroit."
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."
The fastest dialog in the world: (WC door is opening) Man inside: Heyyy! Man outside: Sorryyy!