Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck.
Where are you going for vacation this year? I checked my budget and decided that I didn't get tired.
A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? "The cop!"
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Daddy to his son: I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
What''s the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo? At a straight rodeo everyone yells, "Ride that sucker"
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"