Chuck Norris' feminine side is manlier than the manliest man's manly side.
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Q: What do Barbie and Paris Hilton have in common?
A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.
A man walks into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three weeks.
The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has.
The man says "I've got a Rolls Royce -- keep it until the loan is paid off -- here are the keys."
The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gives the man $2,000.
Three weeks later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $2,000 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains possession of the Rolls Royce.
The loan officer asks him, "Sir, if I may ask, why would a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow two thousand dollars?"
The man answers, "I had to go to Europe for three weeks, and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that long for ten dollars?"
Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?
A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, the animals at the petting zoo make her wear gloves.
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?
A fruit stand.
Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
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The Beatles' song "HELP" was written after they met Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold.
Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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