Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?
A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
One simply cannot play fair and win in a zoo - there are way too many cheetahs.
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation.
If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
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Yo' Mama is so nasty, the animals at the petting zoo make her wear gloves.
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?
A fruit stand.
Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
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The Beatles' song "HELP" was written after they met Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold.
Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet?
Because deep down they are really good people.