Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Yo momma so ugly that she made all her blind kids cry.
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.” “Yes, sir,” the boys said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “‘It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.”
God said let there be light. Chuck Norris said say please.
A hole has appeared in the ladies changing rooms at the sports club. Police are looking into it.
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
There's a blonde walking down a trail. She comes to a river and stops. She looks right then left. She sees another blonde on the other side. She asks her "how do you get to the other side?" The blonde on the other side look right then left and says "you are on the other side"!
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat? Bone appetit!