A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady.
He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.
''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself.
He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in.
''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.''
''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality."
"Who told you that?"
"Gynecologist."
Vote:
I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
July 4th is Independence day.
And the day Chuck Norris was born.
Coincidence? I think not.
Vote:
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off.
It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
Vote:
Yo mama ass so big your dad's dick gets lost in it.
Yo mama so ugly that she doesn't need a costume for Halloween.
Yo mama so fat that she volunteered at the park, as the trampoline.
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower.
Vote:
Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
Vote: