Chuck Norris can get up to level 40 in Fallout 3.
Q: What's blue and doesn't fit? A: A dead epileptic.
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. "Sorry I cant serve you," states the barman. "Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice. "Youre under 18," replies the barman.
Q: In which room we cannot live? A: Mushroom.
What's grosser than gross? Ten babies in one mail box. What's grosser than that? One baby in ten mailboxes. What's grosser than that? Biting into a pickle and finding a vein. What's grosser than that? A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor. What's grosser than that? A girl thinking she has crabs only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped.
The more self-killers, the fewer self-killers.