Teacher: Ramu, give me a sentence starting with " I ". Ramu: I is... Teacher: No, Ramu. Always say, "I am." Ramu: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
How are babies and the elderly alike? Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys." Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. "That was amazing," exclaimed the coach. "I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?" "Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.