July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.