The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
"Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread."
"That's right."
"Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake."
"Well, today is his birthday."
What do you call a black pilot flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.
Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
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Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor?
Because he can Nazi.
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Q: Why did the Avon lady walk funny?
A: Her lipstick.
In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said BANG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.
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Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
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Little Johnny returns from school and says:
"Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!"
"But I hope you are not writing them, my son."
"No, I'm dictating them!"
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Chuck Norris' favorite game is winning.
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Husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Wife: Because I married the wrong man!