Yo' Mama is so nasty, her vagina's in the Axis of Evil.
Man, to friend, ‘My wife makes terrible demands for money. Two weeks ago she asked for £50. Last week she wanted £100, and yesterday it was £150.’ Friend, ‘What does she do with it all?’ Man, ‘I don’t know. I never give her any.’
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
When Chuck Norris was a child, he would play with real logs instead of Lincoln logs.
Q: Why do Americans like black candles? A: Because it reminds them of 'the good old days'.
A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. "And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
Microsoft Office doesn't correct Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris correct Microsoft Office.
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
"I'd like to seek divorce. My wife hasn't spoken with me more than half year." "Are you stupid? It's a dream of every man."